You replied to me "Because other people have another shit to handle"
It wasn't the answer that I wished to hear
But I guess the truth is always something hurtful to bear
And the truth is hard to be accepted
As hard as getting you to accept that depression is real
As hard as getting me to accept myself in this negative condition
I tried harder to reach out
Like giving my blogger link to people whiom I trust
So that when I wrote something sad or feeling down
There will be someone messaging me asking if I'm fine
Or asking if I need a hug
But they're all too busy to grab my hand
Or even say that they'll be there by my side
They're too busy handling ummah affairs
Forgetting I'm a part of the degrading ummah they wanna cure
Because you don't know the day I couldn't complete my prayer because I cried too hard
Hitting my head using my both hands
Or crashed it to the wall hoping it will literally shatters
Screaming in silent tears
Grabbing and pulling own hair like hell
It happens when you can't see
And the truth is "Because other people have another shit to handle" doesn't make it any better
I guess I should stop trying to give my trust
I guess it's time to shut people out
It's time to realise that there's no hand out there that I can actually reach for
It's time to push normal people away from this miserable life
Semoga waktu bisa menemukan aku dengan seseorang yang bisa mengerti kerinduan yang memberat dalam hati
Seseorang yang takkan galak bersembang dengan ayahnya di hadapan aku kerana dia juga tidak bisa
Aku merindukan kau, sahabat yang tak pernah wujud.
No comments:
Post a Comment